You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
