he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
