She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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