Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
