Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
