Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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