all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
