Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
