Why are handjobs necessary in class?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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