i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
