do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
