I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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