Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
