Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
BRING THE BAGELS
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
