We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
