I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
PANTIES FOUND
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