I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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