I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
