The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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