you turned your livingroom into a bong?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
