I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
