whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
