you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
