I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
