Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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