did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
ugly people sure do ruin things
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
