8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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