So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
