i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
