I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
