I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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