Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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