i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
