Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
