yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
