just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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