I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
