He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Randomize
