You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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