I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
