I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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