there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Ketchup is God's man juice
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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