I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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