I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
