And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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