evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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