??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize