i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
