no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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