Me too!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
