when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
