I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
